Heartless

I wonder why I walk around this life so aimlessly. Actually, I suppose it's not "aimless" so much as it's pressured. Pressured to live up to who society pegs me to be. Pressured to follow a prescribed series of life events. Pressured to know what I'm supposed to be, to know what I'm supposed to be doing. Even though I know I think life doesn't intend to be that way, "pressured" sums up my existence on this earth. Unfortunately, as this pressure continues to increase, I can feel that soon there is going to be some sort of huge explosion... Now - though I try my very best to relieve the pressure to deter any explosion - a girl can only run so many miles, can only bitch so much via her lame blog, can only maintain face for so long. This inevitable explosion is going to be different than the rest. Past explosions are not forgotten. Not taken lightly. But I promised I wouldn't go there again... I don't want to go there again. Nope. This time around, I am happy. Pressured. Seemingly aimless. A waste. Future less. But happy. I am not sure how that can even happen... but the pressure is continuing to build and it's overwhelming. So what happens next?

"You got a new friend, I got homies, but in the end it's still so lonely." ~Kanye West, Heartless