Fire and Rain

I'm not good at this. It's probably the one thing that will end up screwing me over, always. I have only myself to blame. I hate it. But I am so thankful for you. How am I at a loss for words? How did I learn that I shouldn't need anyone? "A failure." Stamped backwards on my forehead, so I can read it clearly in the mirror. It's getting to be that time again...

My mom told me one of the best things today. It's going to take a little bit of time to sink in because I wasn't expecting it at all and it hit me like a rock. Well, maybe I should say it hit me like a rain drop because it definitely didn't hurt and was something I have entertained the idea of but never had the guts to either bring it up, or look into it more for myself... As always, I'm going to have to process it for myself and get it all figured out before I can progress any further. I almost said, "before I can give myself false hope" but you know what, any kind of hope is exactly what I need these days.

But I need some sleep. And to have myself a long chat with God about today.

"I heard you would come around, trying to get off the ground, every road you went down." ~Mat Kearney, Fire and Rain