Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Hurting

I'm hurting emotionally today :( I know today will end in tears because I'm stressed out and all of a sudden have a lot to think about as far as my own future, what I want, what's best for me, and how my boyfriend plays in all of my decisions. This long distance relationship has already been really hard for me and school hasn't even started yet.

He loves me. I know he does, he tells me all the time... but I'm just not in the same place yet. Yet. Omg I just don't know how I'm going to do it. I don't want to hurt him and I don't want to leave him but I have to think about what's best for the both of. I have to figure out where my priorities lie and where my heart is. I just don't know and it's killing me inside. I'm hurting. And the only pain relief is him, but he's 100 miles away...

There's so much on my mind and I'm stressing and it's hard to think clearly. I wish he was here. I care about him so much, but the distance is killing me emotionally. Oh my God... I really am falling in love with him...

I hurt

Monday, July 21, 2008

MY life

Today was the first day of my new job and I have a feeling I'm really going to love it! But I need to get another job so I can make some more money before school starts cause I don't have the money to make it through the semester right now.... :S But yeah, life is good! I am starting to get in the hang of living on my own again and I absolutely LOVE it. It's hard to be away from my boyfriend, but I kinda think it's going to be good for me to concentrate. I dunno, we'll see I guess. But I getting my life rolling, going out to see friends, hanging out with the roommates, going to mass, and hopefully getting an exercise schedule going... But I have to force myself to remember that this is MY life and I have to do what's good for ME. I've got to stop living for other people and I need to remember that when I make decisions. So here it is: a toast to MY LIFE :)

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Close a door and a window opens

Wow time is going by way faster than I thought it would! It just hit me that I have to pack all my clothes and everything!! I dunno how the heck that managed to slip my mind... Oh well. It's starting to get really hard for Arean too. But then again we started talking and getting to know each other on the day I got the job in SLC, so he knew it was coming when he was going in to our relationship. I'm kinda sad that I'll be done working at Alb's cause I really do love my job and the people there. I've just been really, really happy for the past couple of weeks so it's going to be hard to see it come to an end. But you close a door and a window opens right?? I'm way psyched to be back in my city!!! I love the SLC and I'll be living in my new place and I'll get to be back with all my friends and on my own again.... Omg I love that life... So it's going to be hard, but it would be better if time could just slow down a tad