I'm in love with a guy. Though he doesn't know it or anything, he's the one I want to marry. He's perfect. Everything about him is flawless. I've loved him since the first time I met him and I can still remember every little thing that I learned about him that made him even better in my eyes. I don't really know how to explain it or even figure out what the hell I can do about it... But I love him. How do you tell someone who doesn't know?

Smell of Summer

Aw crap... I had this blog written and then totally erased it all on accident. Lemme think what I had written... Okay, so today I feel like being lazy and not doing much. I just want to lay around, read my book, watch some TV, read my magazine, etc etc. But I figure, since this is my summer, I should live this summer day to it's fullest and do whatever I want to do. I've been really busy lately just with work and chores and errands that I think it might be good for me to just relax before I work later tonight. I read this article recently about living in the present and not worrying about the past or future, because we never get to the future and there's nothing we can do about our past. To enjoy life fully, you have to live and appreciate the here and the now. So I've been working on that lately and it seems to be going really good! Well I can smell summer breezing in my window so I think I'm going to lay back and enjoy the breeze :)

Yard work!

Today was an AWESOME day! It just went by so fast, but I was so productive and got so much done! I did a lot of yard work, and there's still some I get to finish tomorrow. I would have done the weed-whacking today, but I couldn't figure out how to fix the whacker.... But I'm all set to go tomorrow!! Then I worked 8 hours too, but my gosh, they went by so fast! That almost never happens, especially for how slow we were. The weather is finally getting simply gorgeous and I'm just loving it! Today was amazing and I'm hoping for one just like it tomorrow! :)

"...don't let it get away"

IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY TODAY!!! The weather is just gorgeous, I'm in Salt Lake City, I get to hang with Allison, her new place is amazing, and I'm just really very happy and content. This is exactly how I expected to spend my summer and I'm going to just live it up today! As U2 says:

It's a beautiful day
Don't let it get away...
What you don't have you don't need it now
What you don't know you can feel it somehow...
Was a beautiful day

That is my all time favorite song because it always makes me feel so at peace, content, happy, and in love with life. I plan to live today to it's fullest and thank God for all the wonderful gifts He's given me!

Life is good :)

Angry

Yesterday my grades were finally posted for the semester... I am so extremely angry and disappointed at myself for not working even harder!! I knew the classes weren't going to be a breeze and even though I had no interest for the science ones, I still should've worked my butt off to show others and prove to myself that I can still do well. Unfortunately I must have given up on myself early on because it showed. I did awful. I'm ashamed and embarrassed. A part of me feels like people should know what a disaster I am... but yet I'm so embarrased I wish I could just run away and make everything better. I'm really hoping to make up for it by doing FABULOUS this next semester. Hopefully not living with K**** and taking classes in my major that I looove will help. Also, being "motivated by the lack of doubt" and knowing I'll do great if I put my mind to it. Though I am still very angry and disappointed in myself, I feel very optimistic about working hard this fall.

On a brighter note, I'm loving being out of school for the summer and working! It's great to be home and be busy, but not studying, studying, schoolwork, studying busy. Work has been great, I really love everyone I work with but am kind of having a little bit of an inner tug-of-war about my feelings between the relationship of my bff (who's my manager) and this other guy... so we'll just have to see what happens with that. I anticiapte that I'll just step back though and not pursue him anymore.

Today I was able to drive down to Salt Lake City to visit my very best friend on my day off! I knew that I missed the big city, but when I got off the interstate and was finally drving through the city, I realized how much I sincerely LOVE and MISS Salt Lake City!!! A big part of me doesn't want to go home tomorrow because how much I feel like this is where I'm supposed to be! I'm glad I chose to go to school here and am almost anxious for the fall when I can come back!

A personal goal for this summer concerns my weight. I'm really hoping to get in shape and lose a lot of pounds, but I know that's no walk in the park. It's an easy equation that involves hard work and dedication. But I'd kill to see the look on some of my friends' faces when I come back lean and thin! I've already hit a few rough patches, but I've got to keep to it!!

Well that's a lot for now... but I'm all out!!! :) Later

Finally... nothin' to do!

My chem final did not go well... I completely blanked. Now I'm really scared I'm not even going to pass that class. But oh well, there's nothing I can do except thank God it's OVER!!!

It's really sad that everyone is leaving. I almost still feel like the semester isn't over yet, but yet, I feel like I've got nothing to do. It definitely is one of the best feelings in the world! I think I'm just going to take my time to pack and sit back, relax, listen to some music, read some magazines, and think about life.... I can hardly wait to get started :)

PS. This state sucks... snow in May?!? WTF