Something New

Hello everyone!

I have made the official decision to move from this blog from blogspot to WordPress.

Come along with me by clicking here.

And here's to moving on to bigger and better things!  :)

"We all need a fix, I guess I need one too, but I’m trying madly to calm these nerves, with something new."  ~The Airborne Toxic Event, Something New

Lucky Star

Today has been an interesting day so far.  I feel complainy.  I just want to sit around and complain about shit that doesn’t matter.  Not that I would consider myself to be in a bad mood or anything like that… I just think that being all complainy sounds like fun today.  That being said, I’m bipolar about my hair today.  First, it was shitty looking.  Then, it seemed fine.  Then I really loved it.  Then I thought it looking shitty again…  My poor hair!  Can’t catch a break.  I dunno what I think of it right now cause I’m too busy thinking about wanting to complain about the heat.  And my shoes.  And the fact that I’m hungry and at work.  God, it’s just one of those days!  I don’t like it.  I don’t care for myself like this cause all of my complainy thoughts just consume me.

I am starting to notice the downfalls of now being active and exercising enough.  I was actually talking to A about it earlier today (before I got in trouble for being too chatty) and I have been so unmotivated lately.  Weirdly enough, I am more tired and worn out and have had this constant headache and am breaking out and am just less wanting to do stuff.  I need to start getting back in my groove to exercising.  Cause it sucks to feel like this.  Maybe that’s why I just want to be all complainy too.  Hmm...

“And when I’m lost you’ll be my guide, I just turn around and your by my side.”  ~Madonna, Lucky Star

Electric Avenue

So I think it’s safe to say that I am blog-tarded. haha I am having a really hard time trying to figure all the features of WordPress! S has told me on numerous occasions and after seeing how much better the same Pearls Before Swine cartoon looked on his page, I am actually considering taking this blog to WordPress.  A part of me just wants to quit trying and go back to what I know here at blogspot… but at the same time, I am so determined to figure this shit out to make the switch! I might need someone who is WordPress literate over my shoulder to help me out here shortly to keep my frustration at bay.

I also am just an idiot in general... here are two recent situations in which I condsider myself idiot-worthy.  First, I got this new plant garden thingy that is super cute!  It's about a 4-ounce pot and had a condensed dirt pellet and some seeds and picture instructions that were:  1) put dirt in pot, 2) pour 2 ounces of water in the pot, 3) add seeds.  Well I did all that.  But then it didn't tell me what to do next.  So the next day I gave it some water...  Well, "some" is a considerable understatement.  Cause I'm pretty positive I drowned my f*cking plant.  :(  Okay, situation number two.  Decided that it would be an awesome idea to shower today.  Since I'm basically a hippie anymore and try to shower as little as I can get away with (thanks C for showing me the great perks of hippie-ness), it was actually one of the best ideas I've had all day.  I also thought that it would be a wonderful idea to start the dishwasher cause it was full and the dishes were dirty!  Also a stellar idea.  However, like the idiot I am, I started the dishwasher AND THEN jumped in the shower...  yeah, I got both scalded and frost bite multiple times in that 20 minute period.  I'm pretty sure that was God's way of punishing me for having two such good ideas in quick succession.  I think I deserve that Idiot of the Day award.  In fact, I've already got my acceptance speech all ready...  :)

“Workin’ so hard like a soldier, can’t afford a thing on TV.” ~Eddy Grant, Electric Avenue

What It's Like

Okay. Ima say this real quick, so don't blink. Since the beginning of this year with him being featured in some really stellar singles and his immense talent and pretty much the fact that he is *the* one and only successful white rapper, even now in his late 30s...  God. I never thought that I'd be one to admit this.... IamdefinitelyanEminemfannow. There. I said it.  Don't make me use the "f" word again.

That being said, enjoy Love The Way You Lie, Eminem feat. Rihanna below. These two artists put together are phenomenal, in my opinion!

"God forbid you ever had to walk a mile in his shoes, cause then you really might know what it's like to sing the blues."  ~Everlast, What It's Like

Hallelujah

Found myself another hilarious blog today!  I'm Not Benny.  This dude's name is Tim and the opening line of his profile is "I was born on my birthday, which I always thought was considerate timing on my part."  haha  How could you not already love this guy?!  Check it out.

Had one of the most kick ass dinners tonight, thanks to my "wifey" D.  Rotisserie chicken, corn, dark greens and stuffed mushrooms.  YUM.

I can't believe I'm not fallen over asleep yet.  It has been a long ass day, and of course - like an idiot - I did not go to bed early like I should have.  I do have to say that reflecting on the day that has past, I can't say that I am particularly proud of some decisions I made.  It was a good day, yes.  But it was not one of those great days.  Sitting here now that it's about over I can't say that I am too pleased with myself.  I'm happy!  But disgusted.  Aw well, guess I can just hope for a better tomorrow!

"Maybe I've been here before, I know this room, I've walked this floor."  ~Rufus Wainwright, Hallelujah

Boston

Went walking around Liberty Park for the first time in awhile.  First time I had visited since the oil leak fiasco... which is still slowly coming along, but not 100% and makes me really sad now that the problem has hit - literally - so close to home.  Anyway!  It's a gorgeous day out today and I had a great time and almost wanted to just keep going around and around but decided that 4 miles was plenty.  There were a few interesting/awesome characters at the park today (as usual) and now that I'm home, I thought I'd write a few of the best ones little anonymous notes from myself:

Dear Veteran Roller Skating Dancing Singing Dude,

Never have I witnessed someone having as much fun on old-school roller skates.  You were jammin' to your tunes via those sweet spins and moves on your skates, all while singing aloud and waving at everyone you passed - myself included, each of the 4+ times you passed me.  I could tell that Short Asian Man who was rollerblading behind you was jealous of your speed, talent, and charisma.  And your skates.  And your hat.  And your short shorts.  I look forward to seeing a future performance from you in the future.  And thank you for serving our country.

Yours,
Amanda

Dear Sunburned Toothpick-Limbed Thick Shirtless Short Man,

Can I buy you some sunscreen and aloe vera?  When you ran passed me all I could think about was how much your skin must be in pain.  And how short your shorts were.  And the fact that your t-shirt was in your hand and not on.  It also amazed me that your short legs and arms were barely there, they were so skinny!  You were pretty speedy though...  Keep it up.  Consider sunscreen.

Sincerely,
Amanda

Dear "Reading" Wheelchair Guy,

You need to spruce up your "staring at the running women" skills.  Clearly you weren't reading your book, nor did you make much of an effort to even pretend you were.  Maybe consider not sitting so close to the path, or wearing sunglasses, or not moving your head so obviously when staring at the running women.  Then again, you are a man... and I can't think of a man who successful ogles at women unnoticeably... so maybe you're off the hook...

You're welcome,
Amanda

Dear Biker Dad With The Cute Little Bike-Riding Kiddos,

What a great way to spend Father's Day!  Your kids are adorable and you guys seemed to be having the best time!  I loved following you guys for that short time and wish that I had spent my morning biking around with my dad!  Too cute.  Happy Father's Day.

Cheers,
Amanda

"Essential yet appealed, carry all your thoughts across an open field."  ~Augustana, Boston

The Undeveloped Story

A girl couldn't have asked for a better father.  You mean the world to me, Dad.  Thank you for all that you have taught me and for being one of the greatest role models in my life.  I love you more than words can express.  You are my man forever.  Today, this one's for you.  LOVE YOU DADDY!  Happy Father's Day  :)

"I think I'm in love with clamor, tides are turning, never understood my undeveloped story."  ~Anberlin, The Undeveloped Story

Breathe

Found a new, hilarious blog to follow thanks to D.  Hyperbole and a half.  Illustrated stories of silliness and adulthood that are all real life.  Hope you enjoy it as much as I have so far today!  I have been busting my gut - both her writing and her pictures alone and together make for such funny stories!

I'm tired today.  I think this past week of fun-having has just worn me out.  Sure, I've been getting a decent amount of sleep and everything... I think it's social exhaustion.  Not that I'm sick of people or sad or just want to be isolated or anything.  I'm just all talked out and would love to just chill and just be in the presence of those people who I am most comfortable with.  That would be my perfect way to end this Friday.  Quiet.  Glass of wine in hand.  Soaking in the sun with some of my favorite peeps.

"There's a light at each end of this tunnel, you shout 'cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out."  ~Anna Nalick, Breathe

Changes In The Weather

A few random comments:

- The Wasatch Back Relay is this weekend and I have to admit that the runner in me is rather jealous.  I wish my knees were cooler with the whole training scene.

- Can't wait to go home and enjoy a glass of wine on my porch and just hang out in this gorgeous summer weather.

- Go Celtics!  A part of me wants to find some buddies to go to the bar and watch the game with!  But I am not sure who I would ask...  Too bad I'm not just with my uncle.  He's the most fun to watch a Lakers game with.  Especially cause there's Coors Light involved.  Lots of Coors Light.

- Father's Day this weekend.  Already.  Hmmm... guess I need to shop for a gift!

- On accident, my hair came out so damn good today.  I kind of am not sure if I'm going to shower or even lay on it ever again, it looks so pretty.  haha

"On the highest mountain tops, just wanna hold that breath forever, I'm dancing in the clouds, with my feet still on the ground."  ~Barefoot Truth, Changes In The Weather

Sugar We're Going Down

Because of a recommendation from M, I finally joined goodreads today!  I actually like the site more than I was expecting to - so far.  It's a social cataloging site that you can sign up for a create an account for free to discuss and post about current, past, and future books that you're reading.  Though it seems like my "to-read" list continues to grow at a faster rate than I can actually get books finished, I am always looking for more books to read!  I have been browsing this site for quite some time today and so far I'm loving it.  Sign up, add me as a friend, and start getting your own library together!

"I'm just a notch in your bedpost, but you're just a line in a song."  ~Fall Out Boy, Sugar We're Going Down

You Already Know

Black roads glisten
The sound of cars racing
Through the puddles

Cooler winds whistle
Bringing that sweet smell
Of dirt and renewal

Bare arms outstretched
Showered from obligation
In refreshing rejoice

Crisp droplets gleam
Little glances of heaven
Falling to earth

"It just ain't at where it's at for me anymore, so don't let the door hit you when you leave."  ~Train, You Already Know

Love The Way You Lie

Learned a few new things the other day that I hadn't given thought to previously.  I thought I'd share them because I found them so interesting and because they are two things that I hope to incorporate in my life. 

First is the concept of the Platinum Rule versus the Golden Rule.  The Golden Rule states that you are supposed to "treat others as you would want to be treated."  Well - even better - the Platinum Rule is that you should "treat others the way that they want to be treated."  Considering others.  Hmmm.  There's a thought.  Not that I would say that I'm inconsiderate, but I definitely could get better at this Platinum Rule thing!

Another thing we were talking about was the concept of the grass being greener where you water it.  Not the other side!  Where you make the effort and nourish it and give it what it needs.  Taking this into account as it applies to life - going through something with full force, giving it your all, and having faith in it.  Just working with what you have in front of you and not just wanting to be on "the other side."  Because you can have it just as good, and probably even better, where you put your efforts, no matter what they are.

"Now you get to watch her leave out the window, guess that's why they call it window pane."  ~Eminem feat. Rihanna, Love The Way You Lie

Anchor

I want to officially announce that I have decided I want to make a career in Human Resources.  I had talked around the issue in previous posts, but didn't realize that I hadn't come right out and said it.  It came to me during my deemed "Weekend of Clarity" when I was home for my brother's graduation party.  I was actually sitting in Mass with the whole fam and was pretty pessimistic about being there cause it was taking forever, I was hot, I was hungry, my pants were bothering me, I was tired, Fr.'s homily wasn't really making any sense, I wasn't in the moment, etc. - basically just wishing I had stayed at home.  I remember just closing my eyes and all was silent, and it was then that I heard God for the first time in a long time.  In my stillness, I came to the reassuring decision that HR is what I want to go into with full force.  And, like my previous posts have reflected, never have I felt so clear in my entire life.  Though I was so sure and so thankful for God's little chat with me, Mass was only halfway done and I could hardly sit still, I just wanted to call D and tell her.  haha

Since I have come to that decision, I have actually ran with it as fast as I can.  I have gotten involved in the Society for Human Resource Management (SHRM) and am in a leadership position at the U of U student chapter, as well as a member of the local SL chapter and at the national level.  I attended my first SL SHRM Luncheon this week!  It went really well and was very interesting and actually a lot of fun!  I didn't do much on the networking side, only because I was unfamiliar with the process and didn't have someone to guide me along.  I will be glad when D comes with S and I next month and can show us the ropes.

D has also been helping me tremendously at work with building my experience and is just such a huge asset in things even as basic as helping me beef up my resume.  So I have to give her a big, big "thank you" cause without her, I'd still be in square one.  She's also just a great mentor and is such an amazing role model to me in more ways than one.  I need to make a better point of making sure she knows it...

"Hold my hand, while I'm sinking in the sand, no one else could understand."  ~ Lifehouse, Anchor

Dance

Aaahhh man...  All I can say is, I haven't been this freakin' excited and anxious and nervous and EXCITED in awhile!!  Gonna be such a fun night.  I can't even wait to get off work!  6 o'clock cannot come fast enough!  :)

"Release my soul, bring life back to these bones, and let me fly away with you."  ~Lifehouse, Dance

Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm

Aahh Sunday.  I had no intent of doing much of anything today and yet, it's not even 1 pm and I have already done my workout for the day - which was sufficiently horrible by the way.  That Jillian Michaels sure is a bitch.  haha  I am going to be hella sore tomorrow.  Truth be told, it was a great workout.  So if you're looking for a good workout DVD, I've liked all of the ones with Jill, today was The Biggest Loser's Last Chance Workout.

I just started reading the book The Road by Cormac McCarthy on Friday because I hear it's so good.  And I hadn't realized that they made it a movie this past winter, so I also want to see it once I'm finished.  From what my dad tells me, the book is so much better and the movie doesn't add much - which is what I would have expected - but I always like to compare the two.  I've talked to a few people who saw the movie without reading the book and they have said that it's just depressing and horrible, to say the least - which is also expected.  So far the book is amazing, McCarthy has this style of writing that makes the book hard to put down.  More on that once I'm finished...

I know this past week my posts have been full of my renewed outlook on my life ahead of me.  Although I don't wish to bore you any further with the basically the same post again today, I just have to say that reflecting on the past week, I am so glad to feel like I have a place in this life.  That being said, the need for me to figure out how to and BE a sister to my brothers hasn't so much come to my attention as it has been thrown in my face.  It's something that I need to figure out - and quickly.

On a more humorous note, you wanna know how long it takes me to choose two bottles of wine out at the liquor store?  Approximately 45 minutes.  hahaha  D can tell you what it's like following me back and forth and back and forth indecisively for almost an hour when I originally said, "I'm going to stop at the liquor store real quick."

"She couldn't quite explain it, they'd always just been there."  ~Crash Test Dummies, Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm

Chelsea Dagger

Dear Neighbor,

Your guitar playing is so awful, never have I ever wanted to cut my ears off.  Sure, we do appreciate that you have turned off the amp and that you don't play between 8pm and 8am - but if you could move your daily jam sesh to another zip code, that would be awesome.

Sincerely,
Your Suicidal Neighbors

"I said tell me your name, is it sweet?  She said my boy it's Dagger, oh yeah."  ~The Fratellis, Chelsea Dagger

So Rich, So Pretty

Never have I
known such clarity.
Been so content.
Been so happy.
Felt in place.
Felt forgiveness.
Felt grace.

I have been waiting for this time, to know this life for so long.  Now that it's here, the changes I can see in so many different aspects of my life are simply astounding.  I couldn't have done it with out the help of my close friends and family.  This is the definition of life - and it's painted with so many colors.

"Money from mommy lovely in Versace, costly sprees, it's on at Barney's, and I love to watch her go through fifty Gs calmly."  ~Mickey Avalon, So Rich, So Pretty

OMG

I have to send a special thank ya out to D today for lending me her cute shoes AND adorable necklace!  I got lotsa compliments, so thanks for having much cuter accessories than me...  haha

Today has been a pretty good day so far, I've still got a lot to do tonight.  I'm very excited about my little date with C later!  We've started our weekly summer tradition of hitting up Diva's for a drink, a cupcake, and to catch up on everything.  I love it  :)  I've also got to go grocery shopping later... A is finally coming over to see the place and I'm making her dinner.  Well - that - and the fact that I've got no food.

I've gotten into a Seinfeld kick for the first time in awhile!  M and my dad have let me borrow a few seasons, so I've been watching that regularly for the past week.  It's just so good!  I kind of can't believe that I don't own the seasons myself...  Maybe that'll be my gift to myself here in the near future... hmmm.

"Girl you know I'm loving your, loving your style, check check check check check checking you out."  ~ Usher feat. Will.I.Am, OMG

Super Freak

Okay, I just have to bitch about something real quick...

WTF do you expect me say to you - let alone reply - after that note!?  What good did you think would come of that?  I honestly don't get it.  I'm not going to "shun" you, but at the same time you need to understand what I'm telling you.  There is probably more that I could tell you... but I know that if the situation were swapped, they are things that I myself would not want to hear.  I'm sorry that things didn't happen in your favor, but it's not my fault.  Yep, you're right, there is tension there.  And as much as I wish I could handle this passively and probably with much more maturity... I can't.

Thank you to A for helping see through this situation the most clearly.  You hit it right on the nose in reminding me that I can't be responsible for your reactions and feelings.  The terms are different and how you deal with them is not my problem.  Thanks, A, I feel so much better after talking this through with you.  :)

"She's a very kinky girl, the kind you don't take home to mother, she will never let your spirits down."  ~Rick James, Super Freak

Everyday Is A Winding Road

What a day.  If I could think of anything to describe how things have changed for me most recently, I'd have to say "word vomit."  Seriously, I can't shut up!  I don't think I'm being annoying - but I might actually just be.  Just tell me to shove it, I understand.  I just feel like there's so much that I want to talk about!  And that's such a good thing.  For so so long, I had nothing to say.  I didn't feel like it really mattered what I had to say, nor did I think it was important.  Not that I think what I have to say now is that interesting or dire or critical, by any means...  but just to feel like I'm able to talk has already felt really good.  Not only can I not type fast enough today it seems, but I just can't wait to get home and talk to D!!

I don't want to do today.  But I need to get it f*cking over with.  Cause now it's just ridiculous and I feel like it's the one last thing that's holding me back.  After today, I will finally feel completely resolved of all my past problems... not that they are even all fixed or back to normal.  No.  But they will have all been addressed so I can continue to move forward to becoming better.

I had a great meeting about becoming a member of SHRM - the Society for Human Resource Management - on campus!  I'm really looking forward to getting more involved and reaching for my dream of working in HR.  I feel like the journey officially started this morning, and I couldn't be more thrilled.

"I'm just wondering why I feel so all alone, why I'm a stranger in my own life."  ~Sheryl Crow, Everyday Is A Winding Road

Climb

I have a lot to say!  I've been seriously slacking in the posting-on-my-blog department lately, but I have honestly been a little too swamped with life for the past little bit.  I am a bigger fan of shorter posts, so instead of doing one that's forever long, I'll post a few times today along different lines.  Happy reading :)

"When the money's out, stand, climb, and fall, you carry the world, can't carry your hope."  ~ Lifehouse, Climb

Wash

Clarity.

As for me, this weekend has been the greatest blessing.  Even going as far back as convos I had earlier last week, I couldn't have asked for anything better.  Not only did I not see it coming, but I have to say that I am so thankful for not being afraid to speak up.  And better yet, I am so thankful that I was able to listen.  I have never known such clarity.  Never felt so good about MY life.

Among getting some answers to things I have been in limbo about for so long, I learned a lot about myself.  Learned a lot about life and how I need to treat mine like it is mine.  I learned that shock is not the same as disappointment and never could I disappoint.  I learned about the importance of being a sister.  Being on the side of desperately wanting to be forgiven, I learned the importance of forgiveness.  I learned to take it all in.  To see the different sides.  To explore the different sides.  To talk.  To forgive.  To live.  Bygones are bygones, and we can't chance the past.  But we can change our future.  I can change my future.

That being said, I have some thank yous.  D, C, T, M, S, B - if you haven't heard the "thank you" come out of my mouth yet, it's coming.  I have you guys to thank for such a clear future ahead of me.  So thank you for being there, for lending an ear, for your forgiveness, for helping me be me.  You have no idea how much I appreciate you.  And God?  He's all things great.

"All my life, never found my place, until I felt the sunlight on my face, my sunshine."  ~Lifehouse, Wash

Undone

G's Graduation.

Damn my mom's fam sure knows how to have a good time!  It was great to be home with them this weekend.  My 13 year old cousin J and 12 year old cousin C were having a blast playing "soda pong" which had to be one of the most entertaining things ever.  Also, thank you B for taking such good care of me.  Though I want to blame it on sleep deprivation, I promise I'm not that usually that klutzy after half a beer!  haha  But, I mean, that wasn't the first time that happened, so really, what can I say...  Anyways, you know it was a great party when ALL of us woke up hungover the next day.  It was fantastic.  :)  And Dad - you're so so dang silly when you drink a lot.  We all loved it!  And I love you!

"Tell me everything you need now, anything at all, and I will be the one waiting anytime you fall."  ~Lifehouse, Undone

In Your Skin

Inventory.

Went by much faster and much smoother than I could have imagined.  It was my first official one and though there's a lot pessimistic views when it comes to inventory, my experience was nothing but good!  Wish I could have gotten a little more sleep the night before, but I would have had to skip out on a very important birthday party and I wasn't about to even consider sleep over said person's party.  :)  I do have to say that - while the events of Friday night were collectively so very good thanks to great friends, incredibly hilarious  ("...and then he stabbed him!") delicious (mmm sweet potato fries), and just a whole lot of fun all night long -  we aren't quite sure what you were thinking.  But it was a great time, it's a good group of friends we've got going on!

"Face the truth, it's hard to swallow, it's time to begin, there's only one life."  ~Lifehouse, In Your Skin

That Don't Impress Me Much

Man, I have really been neglecting this blog over the past few!  I need to step it up, get back in the game.

I wanted to share a really cool stop motion video C posted on her blog!  You can find it here.  Check it out, check her blog out.  :)

The past few days have been REALLY good.  Really, really good.  Actually, the past week has been really good!  This is how things are supposed to be.  I'm glad we're back.  I'd say this past week has set the stage for a great summer.  I can't even wait!

"And all that extra hold gel in your hair oughta lock it, 'cause heaven forbid it should fall outta place."  ~Shania Twain, That Don't Impress Me Much

Don't Know Why

June 1st!!  Already?!  Damn.

I totally didn't mean to go so long without posting, this past weekend was just so incredibly busy for me.  But I loved every minute of it - even to the point of not wanting to come back because I was too busy staring at the gorgeous new hardwood floors and playing with Bun Bun.  haha  But now that I'm here it is nice to be back to my life, back at work, back at my and D's most lovely little abode that is looking so damn good!  One little thing though... Memorial Day drivers are insane.  That drive home was stressful as hell cause the drivers were all crazy.  No bueno.

Well... I feel like I've got a lot to say, but nothing I particularly want to share.

"I wished that I could fly away, 'stead of kneeling in the sand, catching teardrops in my hand."  ~Norah Jones, Don't Know Why

Gentlemen

Yesterday turned out to be a simply fantastic day.  Once I got off work things just went wonderfully.  I walked home from work and decided to be spontaneous and stop at this cute local place called the Blue Cockatoo where I found a birthday present for C!  It was so nice to get home to D to gab about our day before we headed over to the Piper Down for a drink and to say goodbye to C.  We got to see and catch up with some of our old friends from N, which was really nice.  We've really missed JF!  Hopefully we're going to see his band play up in Park City in the next few weekends.  Finally back at home, I got to chat with M for a long while before bed which was a great end to a perfect day.  He's going to be teaching me some self defense moves so I can get over my "stranger danger" now that I'm an adult... haha

Today has been a good day too.  I'm going home tonight - right after work - and couldn't be more excited to see E's bunny and my parent's kitchen and basement and everything.  Oh, and tonight is W's graduation party so it'll be nice to hang out with my family's friends and celebrate!  The weather has been crazy today.  Luckily I took advantage of it this morning when it was a nice, sunny 70 degrees!  It's about 50 right now and raining like crazy!  haha  I love it though.  I got to catch up C for a nice long two hours this afternoon.  Thanks C for sticking around for awhile, it's always soooo good to chat with ya!  ...and I'm sorry 'bout your bird poopy, mud-rain car...  Lol

One of my friends, A, was talking in his blog today about how setting your iPod to shuffle is the best way to determine your horoscope for the day.  It's very interesting, but the more I think about, the more I'd definitely have to agree with his little theory!  That being said - my iPod horoscope for both yesterday and today were great.  Only had to skip the occasional Christmas song...  :)  Check out his awesome post for today here.

"We left after dark, the sun had fallen for the moon, and all the moments raced, it's going way too fast, it's way too soon."  ~Teddy Geiger, Gentlemen

New Soul

Heaven on Earth = Roasted Garlic Triscuit + Onion and Chive Cream Cheese + Spanish Olive.  Oh.  My.  God.  Sooo yummy!!  Thanks B!  :)

"This is a happy end, come and give me your hand, I'll take you far away."  ~Yael Naim, New Soul

If Everyone Cared

I made that Santa Fe salad I mentioned yesterday for dinner last night....  It was horrible.  D can confirm.  And I was so frustrated with the whole thing that we just left everything out til this morning.  haha  I was too frustrated to clean anything.  It was ridiculous.  As a reflection on the rest of my day yesterday, I am not too happy with myself.  I honestly held myself to a higher standard and totally just disregarded what I have worked for so far.  Stupid.

Today hasn't been the best day either.  Not to be all pessimistic or anything - I have been in a really relaxed and pleasant mood - but I just can't wait to get the f*ck off work today.  For the first time in a long, long time, I really did not and do not want to be here.  It doesn't help that B was an ass to me again today.  Sure, I see how *maybe* you think it's funny or something... but honestly, it isn't.  It makes me feel like shit.  From a personal standpoint, I don't care that much cause I don't need everyone to like me - but from a professional standpoint, you need to cool it.  I can tell you know when you've gone too far, but I don't think it should reach that point as often as it does.  You never own up to what you do, but I do appreciate the fact that you try to fix the hurt mood you put me immediately.  And today you did teach me all about "your favorite athlete" Floyd Mayweather Jr. - who looks like a total doucher but seems pretty damn sweet.

I can't wait to go home this weekend.  Not only do I desperately want to see my parent's new kitchen and new carpet downstairs, but I just love to be home with the fam.  Sometimes I can't bear to be there for long, but I am so looking forward to spending most of my weekend up there with them!  I'm hoping to get my hike on while I'm up there too!!  Logan Canyon is just simply beautiful this time of year.  Hopefully most of the snow will be gone, or on it's way out, otherwise I might just have to stick with the Deer Fence...  we shall see!

Day 4:  Planning on walking home from work to get my cardio in for the day.  It's only 3 miles, and all downhill, so I think it should be pretty quick!   Good with pts so far.  I just hope that I keep my cool at Piper Down tonight and stick with my "just one drink" plan.  haha  I'm sure I'll letcha know tomorrow.  :)  Cheers.

"We'll show the world they were wrong, and teach them all to sing along, saying, 'Amen, I'm alive.'"  ~Nickelback, If Everyone Cared

AM Radio

I am a horrible horrible person for not writing yesterday... my apologies!  I had a lot of good things to share too!  Hopefully they all come back to me today.

Yesterday I was the biggest Ms. Cranky Pants ever.  I dunno why I was in such a pessimistic mood...  And it only came later in the day too.  Maybe I was just tired and stressed.  I dunno, but I want to say thank you to C for still being my friend and talking some sense into me!!

At work, I was talking to one of my co-workers about U2 and in his disgust for the band said, "Why is his name The Edge?  People don't call me 'The Corner!'"  haha  I love it.  B, you're too much sometimes.

Day 3:  I did my workout video yesterday morning and am apparently not nearly in as good shape as I thought I was cause I am so f*cking sore today!!  My ass hurts so bad.  However, Day 2 went very well, I stayed under my DPs and earned lotsa APs.  I'm hoping today will be just as good.  As much as I just want to sit around, I'm am going to try to get a workout in after work.  Oh!  And I found this great recipe that looks delicious that I'm going to make tonight - Santa Fe Salad with Chili-Lime Dressing.  YUM.

"There isn't a place that I need to go, there isn't anything that I need to know I did not learn from the radio."  ~Everclear, AM Radio

Easier To Be

Snowed this morning, setting a record here.  Yeah, it sucks that it still snows every week or so, even though it is May, but I have to say that I have been much less annoyed with the snow this year.  I wonder if it's because we had a mild winter or if I know just how incredibly hot it will be here and I prefer the mediocre spring- or fall-like weather or if it's just because it only lasts a few hours and then it melts right away.  Either way, it's kind of interesting how "whatever" I have come to be about the whole situation...  I'm just glad to be less of a complainer.

Day 1:  Going strong.  This past weekend put me right in gear to get back on track.  I just feel so much better when I'm embracing all things healthy.  Not just the eating right and working out, but making sure I'm drinking my water and getting enough sleep and all that good stuff.  I just want that to keep me motivated to reach my goals...  I think the posters were a great idea, I like to not only see my feedback, but I feel like I am held more accountable.  Hell, I also just like putting up my stickers!  haha

"Speaking silence, words can break, it feels like we are falling awake, in a place, in a time of our own, yeah yeah."  ~Lifehouse, Easier To Be

I'm Not Over

Bought myself some brand new Sauconys for running today!!!  Aahh man, I just love them, I've been breaking them in all day.  Told D that I'll break them in over the next few days and debut them at Liberty Park on Wednesday... haha  I just love having new running shoes.

We're officially kicking our summer health goals into gear tomorrow!!  Made posters and everything last night to help us reach our goals and keep ourselves and each other accountable.

My lil bro went to his prom last night.  I am so excited to see the pictures sometime soon, I hear he had a great time with his group of friends.  All the guys were all tuxed out and everything!

Guess that's about it for now, just been enjoying my day off work.  This past week was pretty exhausting so I'm really looking forward to Memorial Day weekend to have my three-day weekend to go home and help my parents get the house ready for everyone to come in June.

"Never took the chance, could've jumped the fence, I was scared of my own two feet, couldn't cross the line, it was black and white, no contrast to be seen."  ~Carolina Liar, I'm Not Over

How Bizarre

I was catching up on my most recent Psychology Today and came across this article on luck.  I just thought I'd share a few things that I found to be particularly insightful in their talking about the differences in the ability of flexible people to spot and seize opportunities versus those who tend to be more rigid and conscientious. 

"Learn to behave more elastically.  Flexible people often respond to the same stimuli differently than do rigid types. Exploring new territory naturally increases good fortune."

"Do something different.  It doesn't even need to be meaningful to your goal.  Breaking behavioral habits can lever changes in mental habits that have kept you from success so far."

"Try to keep your mood positive in order to catch more of the possibilities that whiz by everyday."

"Allow yourself to stray off-task sometimes.  We need to be loose to become aware of hidden opportunities.  Allowing yourself some flexibility in the process can lead to better long-term outcomes."

"Instead of giving in to worry about what could go wrong, think, 'Isn't that interesting?  I'd like to give that a try.'  If you're truly unsure of a decision, ask yourself, 'What's the worst that could happen?'  Think about which action you will regret more in the future.  Sometimes there's a short-term cost, in terms of your resources or stress ... [that results in] a long-term benefit."

I want to try to be less rigid and more flexible.  Not that I think I am particularly unlucky, but I know that I am pretty conscious and tend to fall into my comfort zone.  I want to step out and try new things, meet new people, and be less of a worry-wart.  As M always gives me such crap for, I've really got to stop thinking the ultimate worst and rid myself of this extreme "stranger danger" complex that I've got going.  Sure, it's smart to be cautious, but he's right, I am a little extreme in my thinking.

"Destination unknown, as we pull in for some gas, a freshly pasted poster, reveals a smile from the pack."  ~OMC, How Bizarre

Pride

U2 is kicking off their 2010 U2360 degrees tour in SLC and we just found out today that the concert will be postponed due to Bono's "emergency back surgery for an injury sustained during tour preparation training."  Bono, we all know you're 50 years and still the shit, you can take it a little easier ya old man!  haha  Unfortunately the concert can't be postponed for too long because of the start of the football season, so I hope there are no complications so Rice Eccles Stadium can see the crowd of U2 lovers!

"Free at last, they took your life, they could not take your pride."  ~U2, Pride

You've Already Been

I gotta get motivated.  The past few days have been a joke.  But it starts today.  I've got my plan, I've got drive, I've got a vision.  So this is it!  No more.

"What can I say?  We ate the apple anyway, and you'll wonder when you'll get there, when you've already been."  ~Bayside, You've Already Been

Use Somebody

I read an unknown quote awhile back that read, "a coincidence is a small miracle in which God chooses to remain anonymous" and for as long as I can remember, my mother had always said that there are no such things as coincidences - that God has his hand in everything.  Not that my mom would be pro-destiny or anything like that, but she always talked about how situations and things in life are "meant to be."

After tonight, God is just too damn good in my book.  haha  :)  Thank you Lord.  I couldn't have asked for a better small miracle from you tonight.

...and now I am one hell of a smitten kitten.

"Someone like you and all you know and how you speak, countless lovers under cover of the street, you know that I could use somebody ... someone like you."  ~Kings of Leon, Use Somebody

I Hate Everyone

Prepare for randomness.  Here goes nothing:

1-  Yes, you really are "my favorite," and no, I do not ever lie to you.  2-  I'm sorry I don't seem to know how to handle you anymore... that's my immaturity right there.  3-  I know I need to talk to you, but I have no idea what to say.  4-  You must think I can't see you, but I can.  Don't worry though, I know you mean nothing by it.  5-  Um.  Apparently.  6-  I'm not quite sure why you must say "hello" to me every 12 seconds.  The first one of the day was good enough til tomorrow.  Or if you just wanted to mix it up with a "hey" or "how's it hangin,'" that'd be cool. Kthx.  7-  You are so good for me.  And I'm so glad you're back.  8-  It doesn't really blow my mind anymore, but she must be good for you cause I can tell you're much more laid back and happy.  9-  Thanks for knowing when to lay off.

"He slammed on the brakes but I made a mistake, when I climbed out of my van he was waiting, but he was six three and two hundred pounds of Satan, I hate everyone."  ~Go Set Go, I Hate Everyone

Dani California

I got a headset at work yesterday!!  It's very exciting!  My PT would be very happy with me.  Was a busy day yesterday.  I am just so exhausted and actually think I might be getting sick...  :(  Hope not.  But I had a lot of fun with my girlies last night!  Had plenty of beer and pizza to last me the next few days... Lol  We watched Away We Go and it was so dang cute!  Might have to invest in that movie sometime in the near future.  Really going to miss J this summer...  We're so excited for her though!  Opportunity of a lifetime.

I have a funny random quote of the day that I overheard yesterday.  Two guys were talking to each other about getting an apartment and one of them said to the other, "A loofa?  Dude, I just use my hands."  haha

I rode the bus and TRAX again today!  It was such a quick ride - literally from the moment I stepped out of my place to when I stepped into work was only 27 minutes.  That's crazy!!  I just happened to hit the bus and TRAX right on the nose; I think I only waited about 3 minutes total.  I love it!  Tonight will be the first time I take home, but I imagine things will run just as smooth.  Other than that my day has been pretty uneventful...  C did keep scaring the crap outta me cause apparently I'm an easy target. haha  Oh, and I did get to see M for a little bit!  Was really nice to chat with him, as usual.  At this point, I just cannot wait to go home and go to bed. 

"She's a runner, rebel and a stunner, on her merry way sayin' baby whatcha gonna."  ~Red Hot Chili Peppers, Dani California

Jeremiah Was A Bullfrog

Decided to join Weight Watchers again for the summer.  I still want to lose about 20-25 pounds and WW worked while I was on it last fall!  So I'm going to get back on track with that.

My grades were finally all posted last night!  I finished the semester with a 3.4 GPA.  Woot woot  :D

Guess that's all I have to say for today...  Really not too much going on, I suppose.  That - and the fact that my last post is ages long... haha  I still have a good hour and a half at work, so I'll just add to this should something important/interesting/worth posting comes up.

"And if I were the king of the world, I tell you what I'd do, I'd throw away the cars and the bars in the world, make sweet love to you."  ~Creedence Clearwater Revival, Jeremiah Was A Bullfrog

Winner

I know it's been awhile - I apologize.  I got caught up in this gorgeous weather that we finally got this weekend and kind of spaced all else.

I had a great time with C on Thursday and Friday night!  We can just talk and talk and talk and eat pizza and talk and talk and talk and drink beer and talk and talk and talk and watch FRIENDS and talk and talk and talk forrrrrrrevvvver!  I love it.  And C, I love you, you're the best!  :)

Finally got my hike on this weekend!!  I had the best day with S yesterday.  We went hiking up Millcreek Canyon, did about a 4 mile loop up the canyon and down on Pipeline.  It was just gorgeous up there!  I had really wanted to do the Elbow Fork trail, but it was still snow packed.  We're just going to save that one for later this summer.  I'm glad I have S as a hiking buddy!  We've got a lot of fun hikes tentatively planned for this summer.  We're definitely going to do Mt. Olympus - I still haven't made it all the way to the peak yet.  Last time I was there 2 years ago, we got almost to the rock scramble but it was too snow packed to determine where the trail went so we decided not to figure that out on our own.  So we're doing that one for sure!  I like that we've had a relatively wet, cool spring and early summer, but the snow at the higher elevations just continues to postpone the hiking season, so it was nice to finally get out yesterday.  Hopefully next weekend brings good weather too!  Last night, S BBQed burgers and corn, and we had baked potatoes (sweet for me) and beer, which was by far the best meal I have had in a long time.  It was sooo delicious!!  Definitely the start of a great summer to come.

I finished reading the Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls last night.  It was a great book!  My mom couldn't have said it better - it's amazing that children can go through so much, maintaining such resiliency, and continue on their life with such success, though their parents' were unstable in just about every aspect of their life.  And it's very true.  I loved the book, Walls wrote it in such a way that made it impossible for me to put down.

It was another fantastic day today.  Went running this morning before it got too hot.  4 miles, legs not complaining.  Woot woot!  I just love Liberty Park.  I loved it before I moved over here, but now that I am able to reap its benefits more often, I am just so so so in love with Liberty!  Walked to the Bees game this afternoon with M, sat out on the lawn and had a beer.  Unfortunately the Bees lost to the Albuquerque Isotopes... but that's okay!  I had a good time, nonetheless.  Then I decided that it was most appropriate to have ice cream for dinner to cool down.  :)  I spent a lot of time in the blazing sun this weekend!  I forget how tired just being out in the sun can make you!  Wish I didn't burn so easily... I had to lather on the SPF 50.  haha  So far I'm looking okay though!  Forgot to put sunscreen in the part in my hair, cause that is already beet red and tender as hell.  Damn part.

I am so excited for D to come back tomorrow!!!!!!  I have really missed her and am sooo ready to not have the apartment to myself.

I was watching The Office this week and at the end, Michael says, "at the end of the day we have to choose between living with our self or being happy."  Not that I think those are the two things you ultimately have to choose between at the end of the day, but he's right in that we do have to live with our self.  That being said, I can't do this anymore.  I made a horrible decision to give in to you in the first place, but truth be told, it's wrong.  I can't live with myself.... and you know what?  It doesn't make me happy.  It validated me, for some f*cked up reason, but it's not going to anymore.  This past week, I've taken the time to wrap my head around some things in my past, and I am not happy with that person you encouraged me to me.  I'm done.

Then, I was watching Grey's Anatomy and at the end, Meredith was narrating, saying, "ask most people what they want out of life the answer is simple - to be happy.  Maybe it's this expectation though - the wanting to be happy - that keeps us from ever getting there."  I would have to agree that this tends to be the case for me - in most areas.  It's that expectation.  The expectation to do this, the expectation to do that, that keeps me from learning for myself and living this life for myself.  And you know what, that expectation more than anything, is instilled by me.  I think it's all in my head.  It's what I imagine people are expecting me to do, expecting me to become.  I gotta quit that thinking.  I just have to live.  Just have to be.  And do it for me.  Only then will I truly be free.

This summer I want to let go of my past.  Learn the lessons, but not keep such a tight hold on shit that doesn't f*cking matter and start anew.  Learn to make decisions that make me happy, that help build my relationships with others - not tear them down, and that allow me to live with myself.  I want to be better.  I WANT to be better.

Hopefully the length of this post makes up for my being MIA the past few days.... haha

"I got no time, the talkin' is boring, just look at me soarin', I'm feeling like Jordan."  ~Jamie Foxx feat. Justin Timberlake & T.I., Winner

On Mercury

Okay, it's really getting old.  I understand how you feel cause I've been there, but I don't appreciate that you have to bring it up every chance you get to everyone you meet.  Plus, you can do something about it!  It's not like I just swooped in here and pulled the strings I needed to make it work.  No.  You can do the same thing, I'm nobody special.  I know that I've got people behind me who at least act more adult than you and can accept it, but I wish that you would just cut it out.  At this point I don't know if a reaction is what you want, but you're not getting it.  Not to your face.  I will be friendly and I will maintain being professional, but I thought we were cooler than that.  If it's a joke, it's not funny.  I just hope that by Monday you will have gotten it outta your system, but who really knows.  I'll keep my fingers crossed.

Just a minute ago I was trying to make a joke about a Pharmacy, but couldn't think of the word "Pharmacy" for the life of me - instead the word "Apothecary" came spilling out of my mouth.  haha  It was the weirdest thing ever!!  C, who I was talking to said, "What's next - are you going to be asking for some two part hydrogen, one part oxygen instead of water?"  Crazy.

I'm going to my first ever Bees game tonight!!  It's Thirsty Thursday and 2-for-1 college night tonight!!  Should be a lot of fun!!  :)

"Why don't you let go, shake it off, just redirect my flow, come on let's go."  ~Red Hot Chili Peppers, On Mercury

Sway

I can't believe it's already Wednesday!  This summer is just going to fly by!  I had to stop by RoCo to get a new pound of coffee.  Going for the Costa Rica this time!

I can't decide what I think about how public I want this blog to be.  It has always been and will always will be for me as my outlet... along the same lines as a journal.  I never intended it to be read by anyone else - or at least anyone else who I knew.  My writing was completely free.  Unrestricted.  Limitless.  At the time, I was better off not knowing who, if anyone, was reading my blog.  Now suddenly, people I know, people who are close to me are reading what I have to write.  It's kind of crazy the way things have turned around...  My knowledge of them makes my writing a little less free.  I notice that there are some things that I am a little more reluctant to talk about via this blog.  Yet, it's actually sweet knowing that what I have to say does matter - that people are taking time out of their day to read what I have to say.  That they can see this other side of me and learn some things that I probably otherwise wouldn't just put out there.  I like the change!  It's welcomed, to say the least  :)  I dunno if I'm at the point of being more open about the fact that I have a blog... but I am getting there.  I just need to stop being so worried about saying the wrong thing.  I need to stop caring what other people think.  Have a voice of my own, and trust that I will use it to the best of my ability without giving unreasonable amounts of consideration to how I come off to others, because first and foremost - this blog is for me.  That is the person I want to be.

"Be whoever you have to be, I won't judge you, sing whatever you have to sing to get it out and not become a recluse about how to get it out."  ~The Kooks, Sway

Crash and Burn

Hi there!  As you could probably have guessed, I had a lot of time on my hands at work, thus deciding to give my blog another face lift.  I really like how it finally came out!  I hope everyone is having a nice rainy week so far.  As much as I really love the sunny, warm weather, I am totally all over these rainy days!  I'm kind of in love with it  :)  Yesterday I went on a 3 mile run in the rain and it was just glorious!  Definitely one of the best highs ever.  And!  The great news is that after not running for a few weeks, my legs nor my ankles fudged up!  So hopefully just by keeping a consistent running schedule without drastic mileage increases will keep my legs in good shape.  And keep me sane.  It's all good!

Fight Club was awesome.  Going to have to see it again though!  I actually need to do some more research on it - and sometime I want to read the book - before I see it again.  I have a hard time with movie comprehension and themes and underlying symbolism, especially with movies like these, so I want to get the most out of it!  But I loved the movie.  And I am pretty much in love with Edward Norton and his character.  He was so adorable!

On another note, I am so exhausted again today.  WTF.  And - I got a lot of sleep last night!!  In bed at 10 and up at 9:30... I dunno what the hell is going on.  Aw well.  I'm going to post my new favorite song below - Cooler Than Me by Mike Posner feat. Big Sean.... Love it.  Listen to it, lemme know what you think!

"At least we both know that I tried, and as I crawl those lessons learned, they remind me I survived."  ~Lifehouse, Crash and Burn

Girl America

I am so tired today.  I was accidentally too caffeinated last night and was so physically exhausted, but was wide awake.  So I decided to pass the time by watching Ricky Gervais and Carlos Mencia on YouTube... definitely proved to be one of the best ideas I had all day!  But anyways, I am so very tired today.

Got to get into my summer routine this week!  No more slacking.  Time to, literally, kick my ass into gear.  Got high hopes for this summer!  :)

Going to watch Fight Club for the first time tonight!!  I have never seen it before, but always wanted to so I finally got my hands on a copy!  I can't wait!!

"It's not the circumstances that determine who you're gonna be, but how you deal with these problems and pains that come your way, it's for you that I pray with hope for a brighter day."  ~Mat Kearney, Girl America

Gasoline

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!  I love you, Mom, you're the best mother a daughter could ever have!  xo

I went home for Mother's Day today to celebrate with my mommy as well as my dad and brother's birthday - as mentioned in an earlier post - as well as see my brother's new adorable bunny and clean out my bedroom.  Well, the bunny is so fricken' cute!  Still haven't named her, though I want it to be Jessica, as in Jessica Rabbit.  My mom votes for Funny, as in Funny Bunny...  haha  E didn't like that so much.  So I'll be anxious to hear what he ends up deciding.  Room cleaning went very well!  I threw out a lot of crap and my mom is going to save some good stuff for me.  I was trying on all the clothes that I had left in my closet and when I put on my prom dress, I noticed that it's a little big!  So that was an awesome little surprise.  My mom's whole family is coming up for G's graduation here in about 4 weeks, so I really want to hit the exercise and good eating hard so that I can hopefully drop some more weight and really stun them all.  Here's to getting back on track!  :D

"I was only 21, I wasn't having any fun, and the words you said, tore through my head, like bullets from a gun."  ~The Airborne Toxic Event, Gasoline

Give Me One Reason

At work todaaaaaaayyy - yaaayy yaaayy yayyya.  That was my "I'm at work" song.  I hope you liked it.  haha

I love how fast time flies when you're in good company.  Last night was yet another 3:30am night that just flew by!  It was such great conversation, I really enjoyed it.  I'm glad there are tentative plans for the future, but have to admit that I'm a little confused...  At the very least, I love that our friendship is getting deeper and more mature, so I really can't complain.

This weekend is Mother's Day and my dad and brother's birthday weekend so I'm going home to celebrate with them.  It's such a hit to the wallet!!  haha  I have no idea what to get either of my parents, so I'm going to have to brainstorm that while I'm singing my "I'm at work" song.  I've got to take care of that tonight after work.  I can't wait to get off work cause I've got a lot to take care of before I got home tomorrow.  My kitchen is an absolute mess.  Well - okay that's a lie - it's not a mess by traditional standards, I just have a lot of dishes to do.  BUT!  They are all in the sink, so if you glance in the kitchen, you can't even tell.  Um...  why I felt the need to share that with you all is beyond me...  haha  So I apologize.

Aight.  Guess that's all I have to say about that.  Don't want to bore you any further.  Enjoy your Saturday!  :)

"I don't want no one to squeeze me, they might take away my life, I just want someone to hold me, and rock me through the night."  ~Tracy Chapman, Give Me One Reason

One Week

CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR GRADUATION ERIN AND SUJAL  :D

I don't really have much to say today... I have been really busy in the past 24 hours trying to pull everything together.  It's been nice to be occupied with all that while D is gone, cause otherwise I just mope around.  So, yeah.  TGIF

"You try to match wits, you try to hold me, but I bust through, gonna make a break and take a fake, I'd like a stinkin' achin' shake, I like vanilla cause it's the finest of the flavors."  ~Barenaked Ladies, One Week

Tainted Love

Okay now it's time for my random little rants/comments.  I realized that it's been awhile since I've expressed any, so here we go!  And J loves the rant... haha So J this is for you.  :)

1)  Why do you always come to me to bitch about her?  Is that all we have in common, or something?  2)  Sober you is more fun than drunken you - yet, rarely do I see sober you anymore.  3)  Your attitude is awesome for customer service but I like it better when you're a real person-person.  4)  Never has anyone made me feel so comfortable.  Ever.  Thank you.  5)  We both have the same goal.... will you support me, please?!  6)  You're so much fun when you aren't being so serious.  7)  That was the nicest surprise!  You're too sweet.  8)  Just go get laid already.

"Sometimes I feel I've got to, run away, I've got to get away."  ~Soft Cell, Tainted Love

Take On Me

80's music at work today...  yeaaaaah.  Love it!  :)

I'm not perfect.  And there are so many things that I need to work on to get through life without being a person I never wanted to be.  It'll take a lot of work on my part, but I'm up to the challenge.  My self-deemed "heart of stone" needs to soften up - a lot.  My mom had always told me that leaving and going to college was for me.  A time to be selfish, a time to not worry about anything or anyone else but myself.  Unfortunately, I took that advice too extremely... because I am coming to realize that some decisions I have made out of selfishness were not the kind my mom meant.  And I feel horrible.

I need to get my priorities straight.  I need work on seeing things from others people's perspectives, put myself in their shoes.  I need to remember the Golden Rule.  I've got a lot to work on.... And not just to help my relationships with other people, but also to help myself.  To learn from the past, but keep it behind me.  To start anew.  To grow.  To mature.  For my happiness and success.

The next ten days will be good for us.  Then - a fresh start.  Because I don't know what I'd do without you.

"So needless to say I'm odds and ends, but that's me stumbling away, slowly learning that life is okay."  ~a-ha, Take On Me

Garden Party

Second day in the general books department went very well!  I'm feeling much more comfortable and confident with the department and working with customers face to face and all that jazz.  It's pretty awesome to get to be out on the floor!  I really enjoy the change.  Still love being at the desk though!  I am so blessed that I am able to do both this summer.

I must still be really behind on my sleep cause I had a rough time getting up this morning.  And I slept in much later than I originally wanted to!!  I guess it's my summer, so really it's not that big a deal.  It's what time of year is for, right?!  haha  I guess I shouldn't be complaining - there are much worse things.  I just like to be productive in the morning is all.  Aw well, better luck tomorrow!

Going to be celebrating Cinco de Mayo tonight with a margarita!!    Cheers :)

"But it's alright now, I learned my lesson well, you see you can't please everyone, so you got to please yourself."  ~Ricky Nelson, Garden Party

Walk The Line

This is totally random, but I just have to get it out.... ready, set, release:

Why would this be weighing on me?  I know I didn't do anything wrong, I know nothing bad can come of it...  I just can't stop thinking about it, but I need to stop obsessing.  I wouldn't take it back by any means.  I guess I could have done things differently.

But you know what, no.  I could have done things differently, sure, but who would that be benefiting?  Not even me.  I just need to stop worrying about something that hasn't happened, stop assuming the worst, and handle whatever comes as it comes.  Yeah.

The End.

Aaaahhhh relief.  I feel muuuuuch better.  :)

"I keep you on my mind both day and night and happiness I've known proves that it's right."  ~Johnny Cash, Walk The Line

The Man Who Can't Be Moved

I got a washer!  I got a washer!  I got a washer, hey hey hey hey!

I got a dryer!  I got a dryer!  I got a dryer, hey hey hey hey!

I got my couch covers!  I got my couch covers!  I got my couch covers, hey hey hey hey!

D and I finally got our washer and dryer and couch covers today!!  The washer and dryer was delivered by this quirky dude who was a little sketch and the washers had apparently been sitting in a warehouse - or something like that - so they were dirty as hell.  They are a really nice set though!!  Only about 6 years old and work fine from what we can tell so far...  And the couch covers are simply awesome.  They are a pretty blue and really bring our entire living room together and just look so nice!  It's super exciting that things are coming together so nicely!  Happy summer 2010 to me!  :)

"Gotta stand my ground even if it rains or snows, if she changes her mind this is the first place she will go."  ~The Script, The Man Who Can't Be Moved

I'm Free

Sorry for not posting yesterday!  I worked my first summer shift and spend the rest of the day studying for my last two finals that were this morning - and went AWESOME, btw.  I was thinking about it, this is the first semester that I have felt so incredibly prepared for all my finals thanks to having all great professors this semester!  Though I did do some definite complaining, this was probably one of my best semesters ever.  We'll have to see how my GPA fares though... All the finals went very well, but I did do some half-assing on other assignments and quizzes.

That being said - my summer freedom is official!!!  Woot woot :D  Stress relief - here I come!!

"Cause I'm free to do what I want, to be what I want, any old time, and I'm free to be who I choose, to get my own booze, any old time."  ~Soup Dragons, I'm Free

Walk On The Ocean

It's May!!  Of course, you never'd be able to guess it because of the snow and freezing weather we've had this past week...  That's the state of Utah for you.

It has been a wonderful weekend so far and I imagine that today is not going to be any different.  Yesterday I took walk around my new neighborhood and I'm pretty much in love with it!  I also started reading The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold and it's really good so far.  The movie just came out this past year and I originally said there was no way in hell I was going to see it, but after Stanley Tucci got his Academy Award Nominee, I would really love to see his performance.  However, I hear the movie is different than the book - as usual - I want to read the book first so that is what I base the movie on, instead of vice versa.  Also, because of the nature and premise of the story, I'd like to prepare myself for what to expect in the movie.  I will be glad when my last finals are over this week to get my summer reading on.  I had a reading list last summer, but I only got to half the books.  This summer there are some books that I definitely want to get to and a ton of others that I have heard good reviews on that I want to add to the list.  Sujal, I never got to The Eyre Affair so that one is definitely at the top of my list this summer  :)

Okay, I suppose that's all I've got to say for now!  I need to get studying so I can enjoy myself later tonight.

"They knew we were lying, but we smiled just the same, it seemed they'd already forgotten we'd came."  ~Toad and the Wet Sprocket, Walk On The Ocean

Mambo Number Five

Lately I've been suffering a whole lot of moral turmoil and yesterday evening at dinner with the Dominicans I had to face them finally for the first time.  I don't want that to come off like it was a bad thing - it's just something that I have continued to put off for a long time now and yesterday was the day that by the time I went to bed, I was a wreck.  I've made a lot of poor decisions as far as my faith and relationship with God, especially recently.  The thing is, that it's totally my fault.  It's me that's stepped away, it's me that's turned my back, it's me that has been accusatory, it's me that feels guilt and remorse...  At the Dominican's, I felt like I had let them down, that I just turned out to be the biggest disappointment.  Turns out, that was not the case at all and I should have known!  I was welcomed so warmly just like the Prodigal Daughter.  Afterward, I was just so emotional, so desperately needing that God that I had turned my back on.  So I've got to change.  I've got to put in the effort.

And I've got to go to confession.

Had my first official grown up TEA PARTY with my friends last night that was so much fun!!  It was our going away party for A and we all had such a good time.  J can vouch on her blog that candles can be waaay more entertaining than they were probably meant to be....  But we all had a great time!

This is totally random considering the fact that I am not even in any sort of serious relationship, nor am I planning on getting married anytime soon, but I have come to the decision that an open bar at my wedding reception is definitely more important than having a professional photographer...  haha

"So what can I do?  I really beg you my Lord, to me flirting is just like a sport, anything fly, it's all good let me just dump it."  ~Lou Bega, Mambo Number Five

Violet Hill

Very excited to see people getting more into the blogging scene!  I love reading all your guys' blogs.  :)

D and I had our first guest over last night!  C, thanks so much for gracing us with your presence in our new place!  Definitely makes it feel much more like home.

Riding the bus was AWESOME today!!  Only took me 40 minutes from the time I stepped out my front door to when I stepped into work.  Definitely going to be riding more often.

Facebook is f*cking up big time for me today... I dunno what the hell it's problem is, but it's being rude!  haha  Stupid.

Well, I know it's all random, useless info, but I guess I don't really have much to say today.. sorry 'bout that.  Hopefully more will be on my mind tomorrow!

"Was a long and dark December, when the banks became cathedrals, and the fog, became God."  ~Coldplay, Violet Hill

With or Without You

It's official! Spring semester classes are finally over! Woot woot :D Also, I'm already 2 finals down, 2 to go. My last two are both next Tuesday so I plan on waiting til this weekend to start studying...
 
So I have decided that I want to figure out how to use the bus system this summer, and I think I'm going to try it out either tomorrow or Friday. I'm kinda nervous cause I've never used the bus since I've been here, but want to take advantage of it since we get our passes for free and hopefully then I can save some mulah on gas this coming year! So we'll see how it goes.

Alright, now it's time for some FRIENDS and beer to celebrate the end of spring classes! Cheers :)

"Slight of hand and twist of fate, on a bed of nails she makes me wait, and I wait without you." ~U2, With or Without You

Take Me To The River

For the first time ever, I am praying that it does not rain today...  It is supposed to rain slash snow for the duration of the week so today is the ONE and ONLY day that I can move my couch!!  *fingers crossed*

Tomorrow is the last day of classes for the semester!!  I can't believe it's already here.  Hell, I can't believe May 1st is on Saturday...  Crazy how fast time flies.

Okay, so this is really lame of me... but I want a bunny rabbit.  haha  I can hardly get through typing that without laughing at myself!  Particularly this lil' guy that I found is for sale.. I think it's just soooo dang cute!!!!!

Aahh I just love it!!  haha  I'm a whacko, I know I know.

"Take my money, take my cigarettes, I haven't seen the worst of it yet, I wanna know, can you tell me?"  ~Talking Heads, Take Me To The River

Chasing Pavements

Apparently I did something recently that offended a whole group of birds, because this morning when I went out to my car I had TEN fresh bird droppings that all landed on my back window...  WTF birds?!  haha

Woke up in our new place for the first time this morning - Best.  Feeling.  Ever.  Despite being so tired from last week and this weekend, it has actually been a kick-ass day today.  I have my first final in a few hours and I'm really hoping my professor just has a short schpeel and then gives us the exam cause it's only 50 multiple choice so it should take less than 30 minutes and then I can get outta there.  I have a lot to do tonight!!  Well... really it's just more packing/moving and studying for the next final...

I have decided to make it my goal this summer to get to know the city better.  There are so many things that I love here and yet, still so many things that I have not checked out or taken advantage of to where I still feel like I did when I first moved here.  I want to be more fluent in this city!  I want to try new restaurants, see professional sporting events, explore the mountains, hike the trails, swim in the lake, etc. etc.!!  I think it's a great goal, and luckily for me this summer, my job hours should leave plenty of time for the opportunity of getting to know this city.

"I've made up my mind, don't need to think it over, if I'm wrong I am right, don't need to look no further."  ~Adele, Chasing Pavements

Chasing Cars

I was writing up notes for a final, switching between writing in all caps or all lower-case for different headings. I learned today that I tend to have a much harder time spelling words correctly when I write in all caps... haha The funny thing is, I only caught it half the time when I was actually writing and just now that I'm reading it over, I'm catching all sorts of errors - but only in all caps. Weird.

"I don't where, confused about how as well, just know that these things wil never change for us at all."  ~Snow Patrol, Chasing Cars

Wild Honey

F-WORDS:

1)  FURNITURE.  Hellz yeah, D and I have got furrrrrrrniture!!  Which means we will be able to start having people over soon soon SOON!  :)  We are so excited to see the opening at the end of the tunnel of our current living situation.

2)  FINALS.  I hate this time of year.  It is so freakin' busy and there are not enough hours in the day for the rest of life.  Luckily, I'll be finished soon enough!!

3)  FRIENDS.  I love my friends.  Love them!  I had such a good time last night with old friends, new friends, best friends... you guys were all a lot of fun, thanks for the good time.  And J - thanks for the "Blow Job."

"I'm still standing where you left me, are you still growing wild, with everything tame around you?"  ~U2, Wild Honey